Further Reflections: 8 Years Later

I am truly thankful. <3

In 2017, I wrote a blog about the dangerous rise of forced ideals and the deepening divisions in the United States. I didn’t know then just how right my intuition was because the division was so blatantly obvious — or how much more personal that darkness would become before any light began to break through.

Back then, I was at the very beginning of my career as an astrologer. I was trying to step into a new identity while still dragging behind me the weight of years I hadn’t fully healed from. In my back pocket you could say all I had was an unwanted career path in the restaurant industry, just like most things in my life by this time, it was forced and not really my thing.  I had also recently just been reunited with my two young children after a painful period of alienation — not just from them, but from my entire family. The trauma of that time wasn’t just in my memories. It was alive in my body. I was stuck in a loop — living in the past, even while trying so hard to build a future.

Not long after, my body began to speak even louder than my heart had been. I developed chronic inflammation so severe that I could barely use my hands or arms. I was in constant pain. And yet, I had chosen to leave a physically demanding restaurant job, risking everything to follow my calling into astrology. Underneath that decision was a quiet, aching hope: that I could heal, that I could reconnect with my family, and that I could finally become who I had always been — without shame or apology.

But healing is rarely linear. And for me, it took years even though I had undergone psychotherapy back in 2010 which marked a HUGE transition for me self esteem wise. Now I had dietary changes,  more emotional breakthroughs, and — honestly — just surviving and under constant stress. And my pleas and complaints about this to family, doctors, my job fell on deaf ears. My autoimmune condition is still undiagnosed, but I’ve learned how to manage it. I’ve learned how to read my body like I read the stars — with patience, reverence, and attention to patterns but as such everything is still so DAMN MYSTERIOUS. 

During this time, I allowed a close friend, Dr. Daniel Zeiss — a general surgeon shifting his path into trauma healing — to try his new methods on me. That, alongside the tools I found through Teal Swan’s trauma work, helped me begin to put pieces of myself back together. Slowly, I was becoming more whole.

And then, something unexpected happened: my astrology readings began to deepen into something else entirely. Psychic mediumship. Clients were responding. I could feel what they weren’t saying. I knew what they didn’t tell me. I resisted at first — afraid of what people might say, especially the people from my past who had always mocked this part of me. But in time, I accepted it. The very gifts I had been shamed and ridiculed for my whole life were the very things that others saw as valuable. That shift changed everything.

Looking back, I realize now that I had a kind of “Harry Potter” childhood. Ridiculed by siblings. Called crazy. Made the scapegoat. Treated like a punchline constantly — while at the same time, outside adults and teachers saw something different. They took me under their wings. They taught me tarot, numerology, Buddhism. They saw a gift in me, even when my own family refused to.

And here’s the hardest lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again, especially as my work and reputation have grown: if you cannot be your full self in a relationship, that relationship is already dead. You can’t split yourself to make others comfortable. You can’t hide the truest parts of who you are and expect to be truly loved. If you’re not fully in the relationship — all of you — then it isn’t real.

That brings me back to the world today.

Nearly 10 years after that first blog, the divisions I wrote about have only deepened. Watching the Trump administration’s treatment of women, pregnant people, and children — especially the separation of families and lack of care for those with chronic health issues — brings up deep, visceral pain. Not just outrage, but memory. These policies echo the exact injustices I’ve spent a over decade healing from. I know what it’s like to be torn (or duped into separation) from your children. To be treated as if your pain doesn’t matter. To be forced to justify your suffering to people who think it’s inconvenient to witness. I know what hate feels like. 

I see people like Marjorie Taylor Greene and JD Vance bend and shift to fit whatever mold will keep them in proximity to power. That kind of cowardice disgusts me — not just politically, but spiritually.. And I worry for the families caught in the crossfire of all this performance. I worry for the children who will grow up with wounds that take decades to name, let alone heal.

That kind of mistreatment leaves marks.

But here’s what I know now: you can heal. You can learn to stop reliving trauma. You can find peace. You can reclaim your identity, your body, your purpose. But the world won’t always cheer you on for doing so. Sometimes, it gets lonelier the more whole you become — because not everyone is ready to meet you there. Remember there are people who DO care and WANT to carry you through the fire of your life, so don’t stay SILENT. 

Still, I wouldn't trade the journey. Because I have become the very person I needed all those years ago. And if my voice can help even one person feel seen in their pain, their healing, or their magic — then it’s worth it. It’s worth it for me, and therefore it is backed by the forces of the Holy Spirit. 

I’m still here. And I’m still reflecting. But now, I do it with a clearer voice, a stronger body, and an open and more healed heart.

Infinitely, 

Rose 

P.S. - To all of my friends, clients, soul family, and the healers who have walked beside me — thank you. Your love, support, and presence have carried me through some of the darkest moments of my life. To those who believed in me when I barely believed in myself… I see you. I feel you. I thank you.

A special thank you to Dr. Daniel Zeiss and Teal Swan — your dedication to healing and truth has changed my life. The work you do matters more than words can express, and I am endlessly grateful to have been a part of it.